The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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