You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
