I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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