Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
