you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
