Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
