i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
