I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
