this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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