I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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