i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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