Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
