ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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