apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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