no, he came in my armpit
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
