im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
