JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
