Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
