it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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