the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
