YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
