Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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