no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
