well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
