I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
