So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
two words...techno handjob
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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