something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
it's like heaven, but drunker
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
