so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
