I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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