I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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