I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is the high leading the old right now
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
