My hand turned me down
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
