Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
