Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize