We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
