oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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