why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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