Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
