He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
