I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
