I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
