Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
