The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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