Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
