is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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