At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
