Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
