I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
