No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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