Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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